Strokin: Adrianne Curry

So I had a little free time today and a little weed so after smoking up and taking off my pants I got down to jerking off to a babe that has been crossing my mind a lot lately. Was first introduced to Adrianne while watching Americas Top Model with my girlfriend. From the start I thought she was the prettiest one on the show. I am including Tyra in that. And when I later she is an avid cosplayer at conventions and plays WOW naked on top of posting sexy teasing pictures of her on her twitter account I couldn't help but start masturbating to her. I pulled up some of my favorite pictures of her and got to business.

So there I was my eyes rolling back in my head my fist furiously pumping up and down my penis as I stared at her thighs, that GREAT ass and those beautiful tits. Imagining slipping between them in the sand on that beach. Or coming up behind her in the shower as she pushes back into me. Slipping out and cumming all over that ever so cute face those sexy glasses saving her from the sting of some man made pink eye. Then right after I blow my load she starts cussing me out, flipping me off and kicking me out of her house, because we all know she can flip any second.

Now I made a vid for this but it is crappy. Its to dark and out of focus. I am still working out the logistics of capturing the moment. Also im starting to realize my shots drift left. Guess cause I am a lefty while strokin. Gotta work on that too.

Update: I did my best to clean up the vid but you know "Crap in Crap out" So next one should be better.

Movies: You Again

I went with my girlfriend and our friend to see "You Again" the other day. It was raining outside and it was playing at the discount theater so we decided to spend the $3 each to get in. Sitting down I knew I was in for a bit of a chuckle but one of the main reasons I agreed was because of the eye candy. Lets start off with Kristen Bell. If you have been reading this blog at all you have seen what a hot Kristen Bell jerk session can do to me. So having her on display is always nice. There are some great views down her top and of her firm ass in tight work out clothes. And even when made to look like a pimple faced nerd I still want to blow my load all over her. Mix in some Odette Yustman, Such a cute face made for catching cum. Odette has some great scenes where she is made to look like a high school bitch that you want to make gag on a cock to be taught a lesson. Top with the classic beauties Sigourney Weaver and Jamie Lee Curtis who have aged like fine wine and can still coax the cum out of my balls. And a small taste of Betty White.....

Yeah you heard me....

Fuck you....

Yeah I know Im disgusting.....

Betty white even though old even though I don't find her sexy I find her funny. I found her funny before it was cool to find her funny. And I find it hilarious when she talks dirty. Anyone seen Lake Placid? So even though I probably wouldn't fuck her if pulling out my dick and jerking off in front of her yielded some jokes I would gladly blow a load for her to watch.

All in all the movie is your average chick flick comedy. Some funny physical comedy from Bell. And funny dialogue all around makes for a movie that is enjoyable but just didn't have enough to get a great review. As for the perv factor aside from a few scenes maybe one for each Bell, Yustman, Weaver and Curtis there isn't to sexy. If you are a fan of any of them see it and get yourself warmed up then go cum while watching "Aliens" or "Halloween" one cause well Halloween, and two. You have got to love older women.

Movies: Red

So I saw Red the other day. I was excited about seeing them. For 3 main reasons... 1) Mary Louise Parker... I used to jerk off to "Weeds" all the time. 2) It looked funny and I always enjoy comedy with my action. 3) Helen Mirren. Going into it I didn't know anything about it. I had never heard of the comic I didn't even think it could have existed. So granted if you are a fan of it you probably think it sucks because of this or that on page 156 of "Graphic Novel Number 32".... That geeky comic stuff gives me gas seriously.... Don't get upset I am a band nerd so its cool. ANYWAYS....

It moves quickly and doesn't really slow down so much though that it almost seems over before you get started. It is funny. I was laughing at all the snappy dialogue as well as the few sight gags. As far as action movies go it is average "Shoot um up" with a laughable comment after the guy blows up. Think "Fifth Element" (another EXCELLENT Bruce Willis Movie.) except not in the future with an older cast.

The cast is another reason I really enjoyed this movie. I am only 26 but I can appreciate every one of these actors abilities within their craft. Hellen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Brian Cox, Richard Dreyfuss... All amazing in there own. With recent flop in my eyes "The Expendables" I was somewhat scared of the cast, but they pulled it off. And they made it funny.

Mary is cute and sexy as she always is. I cant stop staring at her cute face. And her cute tight little petite body, but not skinny. Most short women you see tend to be Skeletor like. Mary though she maintains some meat on her bones and keeps it in proportion to her frame. I will admit I have a thing for pale women even more so petite pale women. I don't know what it is. Call me strange I don't care I like it. So she had me going. Then came Helen.

Helen is not only an amazing actress but she has always been beautiful. I am not to into her early career. Yes she was pretty, but I think she is just so much more beautiful now. She is the almost regal perfect picture of a beautiful women. I love older sexy, confident women and I would do horrible horrible things to her body if given the chance. She would be proper about it too. She would say please and thank you, Call me "honey" and "dear" while I humped her, in that sexy proper accent. And treat me to a cup of tea after I gave her some creamer. and

My only big complaint about this movie one that is unforgivable... Is that there are only scene with Mary and Helen alone. Its in the snow and they are wearing all white. I mean COME ON... how is a guy supposed to masturbate to that. Well apparently it was easier then I thought cause after finding a screencap from the movie my dick was out before I knew it and I was blowing my load for both these beauties while looking at assorted pictures. After, Having a dirty chat about them both on yahoo and smoking a big bowl of my new stash of weed.

All in all go see it because it is good. Enjoy the glimpses of Mary and Helen get worked up. Go home and rub one out. Its good but probably not enough to get you off.

Request Lines: Lupe Fuentes

Here is another installment of the "Request Lines" at first I really didn't know who she was so I looked her up and to my enjoyment she was a porn star. So I loaded up some of her vids and got to work. It all started off ok. I was pumping my dick Lupe was taking one in her ass. It was all very hot and VERY FUCKING HORNY until..... Until she opened her fucking mouth. This girl has an amazingly tight little body. A great ass. Nice tits and a cute face that begs for cum. Then she starts talking and her accent is so heavy and she uses such broken English my erection disappeared like a fart in the wind. Luckily the second clip I found was of her sucking on a bunch of different faceless cocks and taking their loads to her face this time with no dialogue except her sweet satisfying moans and groans.

Request Lines: Paget Brewster

So today I put up the status that "Taking request for celeb cumpics. PLEASE NO "A" LIST CELEBS!!! Send all requests to lildickstroker@gmail.com If you have a fave pic of them send that too." And slowly but surely they have started to trickle in. So if you have someone you want to see drop me an email and she will be on the "To Do" list. I will do my best to cum on the pic you send but if it just isn't doing it for me I will substitute it. Here is the first one from the list..... Paget Brewster from "Criminal Minds" took a nice load after pumping my fleshlight. Is it just me or does she looks surprised that I came on her while he is laughing his ass off over it?

Strokin: Kristen Bell

So on Monday I posted in "The Celebrity Cum Chain Creamathon" thread at CelebJO and after giving away Emma Stone, I was given Kristen Bell. I haven't jerked to her very much in the past and I had some time so I thought I would make good on my solemn oath to spray my sticky man chowder all over the woman given to me by my fellow jerkers. So after placing my penis upon a Playboy and "swearing to dump my load, my whole load and nothing but the load". I loaded up some picture, lubed up my fleshlight and went to town.

I was grunting and panting as pumped the fleshlight up and down my cock. That squishy sound blending in nicely with the pitter patter of the rain on my window. I imagined a flowing field the wind blowing softly in the trees. The sweet smell of flowers carried the scent of her perfume to my nose. Cherubs danced and sang as I pounded Kristen's ass till she begged for my load all over her face. Snapping back to reality when I felt my balls tighten a stood up and blew my load all over her picture. I chose it because it looks like she is giving a someone a look saying... "HEY!!!!.... YOU!.... Fuck.... Hey can you call security he is doing it again." HAHA!

Having been so worked up I didn't notice that my dick was still rock hard. I started slow again and was still rock hard so I slipped back inside the fleshlight and stood there pumping in and out of it. After about another 5 minutes I tossed the fleshlight and started jerking it hard and fast and dumped a second load on her. I sat there slumped in the chair trying to catch my breath as a stray bead of cum dripped down my balls, after blowing 2 loads all over a beautiful woman all I could think was... Time for a snack and a nap.

Strokin: Emma Watson

It was a lazy morning yesterday when I got up and it was pouring rain outside. It was dark and gloomy and I loved it. I knew I would be left alone most of the day and I would have time to have a nice long slow session over some cute celebs. Opening up some pages I flipped through pics of random celebs, nothing really catching my eye. I decided to watch a little tv. Flipping through the 3000 or so channels I finally found something to watch. The most recent Harry Potter movie featuring oh so cute Emma Watson. So off came my pants out came my dick and I started stroking. It only took a few scenes with in them to get me rock hard and aching to cum for her. I let myself calm down a bit as I kept my hands off while I found some pics of her. I put the pics on a slide show found some lube and got out my fleshlight. I have mini maid speed bump just in case any of you care. I lubed her up and slipped in and it didn't take much time till I was pumping my cock hard and fast with it while I stared at Emma's smiling face. I felt the tingle and I know it was close my balls tightened and for some reason my foot was tapping the ground. Guess I was just into it. And before I knew it I was standing over short haired (I know I know but I think she looks cute with the short hair. Sue me.) Emma imagining she was licking my balls as I got ready to blow a load on her face. I tense up I take aim.... AHHHHHHH! I MISSED HER FACE!!!! FUCK!!!! I fucked up my imaginary facial. DAMN IT!!!!